“Hi, how are ya?”
I’m just as guilty as the rest of us when it comes to uttering that question without genuine intent of hearing, let alone listening to the answer to that question. It just flies off the tongue. And yet, small talk is one of my least favorite things!
Don’t get me wrong; I believe that it has its place in social dynamics and even in relationship-building. In fact, I have an ongoing project within ChatGPT centered around improving my small talk skills (no, I really do; I’m a nerd, I know!).
In recent years, as I have learned to pursue growth while also accepting and loving who I am, I have come to embrace the fact that I honestly would just rather talk with you about the big stuff.
Like,
What inspires you?
What challenges you?
What brings you joy?
What brings you sorrow?
What are you proud of?
What are you ashamed of?
Ya know, casual stuff like that.
The first three writings that I have posted here on Small Talk are about grief, loss, and healing. I know, heavy stuff. I like to write about the heavy stuff for a few reasons:
- It’s difficult to put these things into words. Difficult things are worth doing.
- Because they’re uncomfortable and difficult, or because some people who aren’t as life-experienced in these areas may not feel “qualified” to talk about these things, people tend to avoid these topics.
- And because people tend to avoid these topics, by putting them into words, I am helping my own healing journey, and others’. How does spending so much time on the topics of grief, loss, pain, and sorrow help? Great question. They help because your pain is a part of you. And having part of you “undefined” or unspoken means you can’t be whole—not in your brokenness, and not even in your healing. We have to face it. And only when we face it can we begin to heal.